~Love yourself or no one else will~
The happiest people are those who are content with who they are. Society always has something to say about appearances but if we already embrace our flaws and love ourselves then whatever they say will never affect us.
I was picked on sometimes for my voice when I was younger. Way back when LOL i like to think i'm old! I have a deep voice and I did not know that until I packed my bags and went off to boarding school. Trust me you learn everything and anything about yourself in boarding school. So people will tell me that and I just accepted it. No big deal. I sang bass in the choir. Loved it! i'm still no where as good as Toni Braxton or Cher smh. Our acapella was beautiful once we all blended our voices together. Anyways, so I went to an all girls school and we sometimes had interactions with an all boys school (our brothers as we call them). And so my male classmates in that school at least some annoying ones always tried to bring it up when we will talk. They made comments like; 'oh you sound exactly like us' or 'why is your voice so deep' it never got to me cause me and my smart mouth always had a come back for them and then they'll shut up and give it another try the next time we meet. One of the other incidences will be when during choir practice in school, some friends and i dodged (those things were so long sometimes LOL ) and were in the dorms talking and all of a sudden we get caught by the guard who takes us to the vice principal and on reporting us he tells her we were with a boy. Now this is an all girls school, if you're with a boy on campus that is BAD. My friends and i were surprised and we trying to explain ourselves to the principal saying; how on earth will we hide a boy in the dorms. Amongst our arguments, it then dawned on me that he might have heard my voice and thought it was a male! My heart literally skipped 5 beats lol like is my voice that deep? But we got out of the situation and I never gave it a thought and my self-confidence never took a toll.
Now fast forward to college. I was talking with a group of friends and a girl walked up to me and asked if my voice was naturally deep and I said yes all the while thinking; "great! here we go again" but then she takes me by surprise and says; "I think its very sexy"..I was flabbergasted! That had never happened LOL...that was freshman year and ever since i've had 3 other people who've heard me speak and said same...Now that i think about it, i've only got this compliments from girls *scratches head* oh well lol. I have never since I left boarding school, heard one person say my voice is deep in a bad way.
Now i thought back to this because now, I have insecurities about myself that people will not even notice unless they were seriously analyzing my body. I blame Kelly Rowland for every single bit of this insecurity lol. The woman is just perfection: complexion wise and body wise! *rolls eyes*. Back then i got teased for a deep voice and I didn't even care and now i am insecure about what doesn't even really matter.
I then realized that whenever I was teased about my voice, it never affected me because I loved it and never for once freaked out because of it. I had owned my voice and so whatever was thrown at me bounced right off. If you hit someone with something they're sensitive about it takes a toll on them. But if they're not then you're only wasting your own time. So i guess my message is, once you fully accept you for you, no one can tell you any different. If you have freckles, gap teeth, birth scar or just anything different from the so called norm, by all means OWN it. Make it your signature look. Use it to your advantage. In a crowd of people my voice stands out by far and while i'm not particularly crazed about my voice, I've owned it a 100%.
*exhales* It was not that bad typing this out. I thought half-way through it i'll be like erm nope can't be exposing myself like that but honestly! I love me and I wouldn't change a thing (Ok i lied i prolly want Ciara abs..don't judge lol) and I hope this inspired someone out there to do same.
Turns out some celebs feel the same way ;)
I used to be self conscious about my height, but then I thought, f*** that, I’m Harry Potter.
Daniel Radcliffe
I had to grow to love my body. I did not have a good self-image at first. Finally it occurred to me, I’m either going to love me or hate me. And I chose to love myself. Then everything kind of sprung from there. Things that I thought weren’t attractive became sexy. Confidence makes you sexy.
Queen Latifah
I was once afraid of people saying ‘Who does she think she is?’ Now I have the courage to stand and say ‘This is who I am.’
Oprah
Peace&Love
CeeTee
It's no secret that we tend to look for flaws within ourselves and that we're our own worst critics. At least I am! We always find something that we don't like and even catch ourselves saying, "I'm not good enough, not beautiful enough, not smart enough." And then you somehow muster up the bright idea that maybe after two months of working out or after that the acne is gone you'll start loving yourself. What we fail to understand is we have to start NOW. Not in two months or a year NOW. You need to see that you're a wonderful person now if not those two months will not give you the satisfaction you are looking for, it will only progress from one thing to the other.
I was picked on sometimes for my voice when I was younger. Way back when LOL i like to think i'm old! I have a deep voice and I did not know that until I packed my bags and went off to boarding school. Trust me you learn everything and anything about yourself in boarding school. So people will tell me that and I just accepted it. No big deal. I sang bass in the choir. Loved it! i'm still no where as good as Toni Braxton or Cher smh. Our acapella was beautiful once we all blended our voices together. Anyways, so I went to an all girls school and we sometimes had interactions with an all boys school (our brothers as we call them). And so my male classmates in that school at least some annoying ones always tried to bring it up when we will talk. They made comments like; 'oh you sound exactly like us' or 'why is your voice so deep' it never got to me cause me and my smart mouth always had a come back for them and then they'll shut up and give it another try the next time we meet. One of the other incidences will be when during choir practice in school, some friends and i dodged (those things were so long sometimes LOL ) and were in the dorms talking and all of a sudden we get caught by the guard who takes us to the vice principal and on reporting us he tells her we were with a boy. Now this is an all girls school, if you're with a boy on campus that is BAD. My friends and i were surprised and we trying to explain ourselves to the principal saying; how on earth will we hide a boy in the dorms. Amongst our arguments, it then dawned on me that he might have heard my voice and thought it was a male! My heart literally skipped 5 beats lol like is my voice that deep? But we got out of the situation and I never gave it a thought and my self-confidence never took a toll.
Now fast forward to college. I was talking with a group of friends and a girl walked up to me and asked if my voice was naturally deep and I said yes all the while thinking; "great! here we go again" but then she takes me by surprise and says; "I think its very sexy"..I was flabbergasted! That had never happened LOL...that was freshman year and ever since i've had 3 other people who've heard me speak and said same...Now that i think about it, i've only got this compliments from girls *scratches head* oh well lol. I have never since I left boarding school, heard one person say my voice is deep in a bad way.
Now i thought back to this because now, I have insecurities about myself that people will not even notice unless they were seriously analyzing my body. I blame Kelly Rowland for every single bit of this insecurity lol. The woman is just perfection: complexion wise and body wise! *rolls eyes*. Back then i got teased for a deep voice and I didn't even care and now i am insecure about what doesn't even really matter.
I then realized that whenever I was teased about my voice, it never affected me because I loved it and never for once freaked out because of it. I had owned my voice and so whatever was thrown at me bounced right off. If you hit someone with something they're sensitive about it takes a toll on them. But if they're not then you're only wasting your own time. So i guess my message is, once you fully accept you for you, no one can tell you any different. If you have freckles, gap teeth, birth scar or just anything different from the so called norm, by all means OWN it. Make it your signature look. Use it to your advantage. In a crowd of people my voice stands out by far and while i'm not particularly crazed about my voice, I've owned it a 100%.
*exhales* It was not that bad typing this out. I thought half-way through it i'll be like erm nope can't be exposing myself like that but honestly! I love me and I wouldn't change a thing (Ok i lied i prolly want Ciara abs..don't judge lol) and I hope this inspired someone out there to do same.
Turns out some celebs feel the same way ;)
I used to be self conscious about my height, but then I thought, f*** that, I’m Harry Potter.
Daniel Radcliffe
I had to grow to love my body. I did not have a good self-image at first. Finally it occurred to me, I’m either going to love me or hate me. And I chose to love myself. Then everything kind of sprung from there. Things that I thought weren’t attractive became sexy. Confidence makes you sexy.
Queen Latifah
I was once afraid of people saying ‘Who does she think she is?’ Now I have the courage to stand and say ‘This is who I am.’
Oprah
Peace&Love
CeeTee
I have my own insecurities too. Esp with pimples on my face, and my weight (being slim) for I always wished to be thicker and thought thicker girls were/are prettier. Another step to loving yourself is to focus on the positive aspects about you, and what makes you unique and different. Do things that will make you feel good about yourself as well like, volunteering and giving back to your community. After all, you are created in God's image and likeness.
ReplyDeleteBeing positive is the best medication there is to life PERIOD. Thank you for sharing and I am happy that you overcame your insecurities :)
ReplyDeleteAll my life, i have been trying to play "safe", and as a result i created a world of utmost insecurity. I wasn't particularly insecure about some specific aspect of my body, personality, or being, but I just thought for some reason people were eventualy going to see me the way i saw myself, and that made me feel insecure. With time i outgrew that thought and owned myself, and as i grew i realized, there was nothing about me to be insecure about. I wont lie and say when i read this it made me move from feeling insecure to now feeling secure, but if there was any tiny shred of insecurity left in me, I'm undoubtly sure this message burned it away. Great blog. cheers!
ReplyDeleteSafe is easy and easy is boring lol! I am happy you came to that on your own. But most of all I am extremely grateful you shared. As you continue to grow you, learn amazing stuff about yourself everyday. Thank you! :)
ReplyDeleteOk ds is like a wake up call for me and like every other fing u do or any word of advice uve given me its inspired me so much.from as lil as 10 when i was in boarding school i was teased about so many things looking like a boy,walking like a boy and worst of all accused of lesbianism.where i came from i did not even know what lesbianism was and in all ds years i have never summoned the courage to say this to anyone i even found it so hard to think about it i completely blocked it because it made me question my personality and had me wondering if i was actually a lesbian.but through it all i grew to face my fears and thanks to God i had frens i met along the line that did not see me as such and am sure they were teased all the time about being lesbians associating with me yet they never ever let me stand alone.i was so blind i did not even see the beauty in me i used to see it in others but i never took the time to even realise maybe i look like a boy i walk like one or whatever but i stil had dis little beauty i could be proud of and feel good about.now i have learnt to love myself.i used to make myself vulnerable to other people just because i wanted to be accepted for who i am not what they have heard or judged me to be.i was even called a thief by the closest people to my heart i was persecuted and yet i stood strong.its true friends come and go some remain and they will always be there when u need them.those frens cant even help u if u dont want to help yourself.am happy through this blog i have been able to pour out my mind for once in my life it feels great especially when i see even people i thought were so perfect have their own insecurities if ur not told u will never believe.insecurities are a part of everyone no matter who you are its just the ability to fight them we have to pray for everyday.besides u have no choice dan to b u even with all ur insecurities.this blog has definitely being the greatest help i ever received helping me voice out my fears without the fear of being judged.i am happy today and proud of who i am and i continue praying for the grace and strength to fight all my fears
ReplyDeleteTo be honest..I am speechless and do not know where to start. Your courage inspires me and now i am even more grateful that i took the time to write this post. The world completely changes when you begin to love yourself cause if you cannot love yourself, you cannot love another. No one is perfect we just decide to make the best of what is and that's what makes us stronger hence the smile we are able to offer to others. I commend you for overcoming this. Having been to boarding school myself i know how hard it is to get rid of accusations. You are blessed also to have had the friends you did who stood by you to help. I pray too that you find that grace and strength every day. Lastly, Thank you for sharing sometimes letting it out is the best remedy.
DeleteThanx so much fo respondx its people like u that inspire us and giv us the strength to speak out.mayb u know how it feels to carry a burden in ur heart for so many years maybe u dont buh am happy u read and understood my fears most of the people i hav met in life even some that acted as friends were the type to listen and reply without even understanding they have always been very judgemental wen u live wif those kind of pple for so long ur fears and insecurities take over who you so much smh its life and am proud to say its the past.i will check your blog everyday if it mks me ds confident and at ease i will come here for all solutions.thanks for bex the xtra ordinary person u are i cant wish to be like u i can only hope to enjoy ur intelligence and courage for its ur own blessing from God.cheers!
ReplyDeleteI pray i deliver all that for you and more. The journey to self-discovery is a looong one but along the way we learn a lot and in the end its all worth it. Remember too that we do not need 1000 friends who claim to know us but simply one who understands us. I do not know what it is to carry a burden for as long as you have but i do know that letting go letting GOD is the answer. Easier said than done i know but worth every try. Thank YOU for your kind words and God bless :)
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