Somehow..I'm still standing!

"We cannot change the cards we are dealt with,

Just how we play the game" - Randy Pausch

Hard to believe this will be my last post in 2014.. It feels like only yesterday I was writing my last post for last year on this same couch in the basement of my aunts house watching TV. Time does fly by and everything goes by so fast. Almost like how you dish out so much food in your plate and you're convinced you won't finish it but somehow you wipe that plate clean in no time (Did that even relate? oh well).

In a nutshell it was a heck of a year..I laughed , I cried, I met new people, I got a peek of the green grass on the other side ( yes yes utilities are high I know don't ruin my moment)... It was an awesome year until the end of it (the last two weeks) as usual a storm hit. It would not be my life if everything was pretty in pink . You would think being me for 20+ years i'll know that right?! but no! gets me every time. And every time I get hit just as hard. There's just some things we never get used to.

Its no news that my life never goes the way I want..Koryn..I have to divert I just have to. People choose your friends wisely. If there is one person who will put me back where I need to be its this chic right here and in the upcoming year I only pray I'm as good a friend to her as she always is to me. okay so back to the story of my life..So Koryn always tells me;

What really F**** s up in life is the idea Of how things should be

I cannot even begin to tell you how true this statement is in my life. So before December hit, I was excited for next year. Ready to graduate, planning the decor for my apartment and all that good stuff. And then one thing hit that just made me re evaluate my entire life. I went into a depression and all of a sudden did not even think graduation was a big deal because I don't think I achieved as much as I told myself I will by graduation and that bothers me but as the first quote says; I can only now change how I play the game. As I sit down and write this I am still not fully convinced I even want to walk at graduation I just kinda want the day to go by and be done with but I also do know I'll regret doing that. So hopefully I'll get past this. Matter of fact I will snap out of this..

But here's what I forget every time... I am not where I was yesterday. I need to learn to take the time not just to see my mistakes but to celebrate my success. I get so deep into what I can't seem to do right that I forget what I actually did do right. I need to learn to stop and smell the roses and stop wanting to take control every time because my life is in the hands of my controller and HE GOT ME 100%. No matter what happens, I will survive and I will overcome it. A lot of this is easier said than done for me but I will learn and I will try. Here I thought I did not have a new year resolution. Here's to smelling the roses and making things happen in 2015.

Train your mind to see the good in every situation