...And I still haven't found what I'm looking for!

" Keep smiling and one day life will get tired

of upsetting you"

It took a post that a friend shared with me to spark up this one. I had forgotten the love I once had for this U2 song...Indeed I still haven't found what I am looking for. Not to make this a music appreciation post/ review/intense analysis of the lyrics...The song mentions pretty much having it all but then still feeling incomplete and just lacking. It just goes to say; "Not all that glitters is gold".

Most times we go in search of horizons thinking it will complete us only find that what we labored on and spent time trying to achieve, really didn't make a great difference. Now I use this loosely as it may be applied in different ways. Let me be the guinea pig. All through college, even up until graduation, I had one industry in mind. I'm not sure if it is because I was mostly exposed to that one milieu but I had my top 5 companies all lined up in that industry. I knew once I got into one of those companies I was made. Well, I did get in, and into the best one too (Praise God for not letting me carry last). Once I did and the 2 weeks of excitement was over it hit me that erm yeah this ain't for you booboo. That's when I opened my eyes to other industries and opportunities around me and then I took a liking to another one. Now I can't say this is where my story ends cause a year ago I would have sworn I knew where I was headed but once I did get there, it wasn't what I looking for. I can, however, tell you that I know why the first industry was on my path. I would not have seen it before neither did I see it when I was there but it all made perfect sense when I left. It gave me the foundation I needed for where I am. God indeed is always looking out. I see you G O D!

Where you are now is not necessarily where you will be tomorrow. For the sake of me reiterating what you already know and refuse to acknowledge, you are there now for a reason. Sadly, until you learn the daggum lesson you will not move from there. Find it in you to look past the frustration, the hurt, the depression and search for the lesson. That lesson, is what makes the next step so much easier and so on. I cannot tell you that it takes a day, a month or a year to learn what you are meant to or master what you need, for everyone's path is different. I can tell you though, that HE knows what he is doing. Stay prayed up and praise, cause when the praises go up, the blessings rain down. Now I know, my life is in his hands but I still always have my vision and my timelines (Me and my timelines lol) you know for guidance and maybe just maybe God is looking at that timeline and aligning it with his. Home girl tryna be a millionaire by 30. Amen?! (You better yell amen...I see you).

Back to the title yes... Y'all know I get carried away. I am happy now because to be honest it's convenient LOL but also because I choose to be. I make peace with the choices I make (granted they might have been really stupid and I may feel guilty), because when I made them at that point in time, it felt right. As I go through this thing called Life I am quite sure I have not found what I am looking for. What makes it even harder is, I'm not quite sure what it is. That's why I look up to the almighty for guidance and I know that where I am now will lead me to the thing(s) that I long for. So I look forward to everyday knowing that with each day, I'm getting closer and closer. I always tell my sisters, I can't describe all that I want because it really does start to sound over the top and out of book. Instead of trying to describe to them what am yet to feel, I just say, when I find IT, I will know. How you ask? describing it will again be that out of a book perspective I mentioned LOL...but if you're that curious? hit me up let's talk feelings of finding what we want.

Me when I struggle to open my eyes in the rays of sunlight smh

At the end of the day, in all you do in life, search for happiness where you are [Inner joy] and love will follow and not just that, good things too. You will be amazed at what you attract [maybe even who ;) ]. Oh, you're about to say what if the happiness is not there? CREATE it! You have it within you.